God

James’s Blog: The End.

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James’s Blog: The End.

So this is it – my final blog post after five years. I don’t know when (or if) I’ll be back, but I’ll be taking the rest of 2020 off at least. We’ll see what happens, eh.

There’s not going to be any profound words of wisdom in this post, no poem or parable. It’s just going to be me saying “Thank you” to everyone who’s taken the time to read what I’ve written, even if it’s only been once. Thank you if you took the time to comment on anything I posted. Thank you if you ever shared anything I’d written with someone else, digitally or not. Thank you for being a part of this particular leg of my journey.

I hope that something I’ve written over the past five years has been personally encouraging or challenging in some way. In short, I hope that neither of us has wasted our time.

There have been some exceptions, but on the whole I have been happy with everything that has appeared on these pages. The ones that haven’t been very good have invariably been so because the well of ideas had run dry for that week, despite me having committed to posting something regardless – but there have been a fair number of posts that I’ve pulled out of thin air at the last moment that have ended up being much better than they had any right to be. Of everything that I’ve written here, I don’t have a favourite, but I think the one that means the most to me is ‘The Man who Sold me a Pear’, which appeared on these pages in year one. I guess I peaked early.

I’m not going to ask you to post in the comments what your favourite entry has been (this isn’t YouTube) but I imagine that – if I’ve been doing this properly – it will have been different for each person. I’m the one sitting here tapping the keys, but ultimately I have always hoped that this was just another means of building the Kingdom of God. If it has been then I’m sure that the Holy Spirit will have His own selection of favourite posts. Hopefully, the list of posts that He didn’t like is a short one.

So, one final time, thank you for being a part of this. May God continue to bless you all.

James’s Blog: When We Feel Wronged by God.

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James’s Blog: When We Feel Wronged by God.

Poor old Job. He gets a bit of a raw deal, losing everything that he had in such a short space of time. He has a lot to deal with but the author of the book is keen to point out, even though Job is confused about the source of all his trouble, that “In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.”

That’s chapter one and chapter two anyway. From chapter three onwards Job gets a little less…stoic. Here are some of the things Job throws at God:

“He would crush me with a storm and multiply my wounds for no reason…”

“Does it please you to oppress me, to spurn the work of your hands, while you smile on the schemes of the wicked?”

“God assails me and tears me in his anger and gnashes his teeth at me;”

“…know that God has wronged me and drawn his net around me.”

There’s more. It’s quite a long book. If Job avoids sin in the early chapters by not accusing God of wrongdoing, then he’s going to be in for it once God gets around to reading the rest of the book.

Now, I’m sure that a first-rate lawyer would pour over Job’s words and argue that “my client, Your Honour, doesn’t ever explicitly accuse God of wrongdoing (except maybe in that last bit quoted above, though he was under immense strain at the time)…”. We, however, are not under the Law but under the Spirit, and there’s no doubt in my mind that the spirit of Job’s words are very much about wrongdoing. God is to blame for his plight and He’s not being fair. God is unjust.

So, we’d expect that when God finally shows up, Job’s going to be in trouble and, sure enough, God has something to bring to the table. Namely, four chapters of “Job, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

And yet…God reserves His anger for someone else. It’s Job’s friends who get it in the neck because, as God says, “You have not spoken of me what is right as my servant Job has.”

Really? After all that stuff Job said about God crushing him unjustly and smiling on the wicked and wronging him? “You have not spoken of me what is right as my servant Job has.”

I suppose I can think of two possible explanations for this. One, God tunes out and stops listening when we go off on a rant. He wouldn’t be the only parent to adopt this posture. Or two, when we’re struggling, when we loathe our life and give free rein to our complaint, when we’re dealing with genuine tragedy and just want to scream and shout and find someone to blame, God cuts us some slack.

I know which of those two I think it could be.

James’s Blog: Repairs.

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James’s Blog: Repairs.

I once met a man, a connesieur of D.I.Y. if you will. I watched him at work, skilfully carving, cutting and fixing. The thing I noticed is how old his tools seemed. I’d expected him to be equipped with the latest and best, seeing as how he was an expert and all, but instead he used a patchwork of old, venerable tools.

“Why don’t you chuck that lot away and get some new stuff?” I asked him.

He looked at me as though I was an idiot.

“Why? There’s nothing wrong with these. The blades are still sharp, the heads still solid. They get scuffed and damaged over the years, and need to be patched up – a new handle here, a sharpening there – but they’re still good. Better than good actually.”

“Ah, sentimental value,” I said.

He nodded. “A bit, but not just that. They do the job, and do it well. Those new tools are alright, but they don’t make them like this anymore.”

I knew a man in Christ who had been broken but got up again, and been broken but got up again, and been broken but got up again. He limped his way along, leaving the fragrance of the Kingdom of God wherever he went.

“Why don’t you use someone else, God?” I asked. “That guy’s had it.”

He looked at me as though I were an idiot.

“I don’t throw things away, James.” Then He looked at the man with such love in His eyes. “They don’t make them like this anymore.”

James’s Blog: Lines in the Sand.

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James’s Blog: Lines in the Sand.

We’re pretty good at drawing lines in the sand, but I wonder where God draws His. What’s God’s deal-breaker? Maybe it’s a good thing to not be able to provide a concrete answer to that question – after all, human beings have a tendency to take lines in the sand and turn then into a box and then to wish hell upon everyone who’s on the outside.

Take ‘Statements of Faith’ for example. These can be helpful things for organisations and churches. They can help individuals find a home where they can grow in some measure of security and comfort, without having to navigate tricky conversations every day. You know what you’re getting. They’re like stablisers; training wheels as we learn how to relate to and love others.

But they can also consist of nothing more than ornate lines in the sand, drawn by human hands; the stone cold truth about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, Sin, Humanity, the Bible, Heaven, Hell, Predestination, Women in Leadership, Baptism. Death by bullet points.

Those lines can become a box, or perhaps more acurately, a cage, where what you think about the person and work of Jesus Christ carries as much orthodoxy as what you think about the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and someone who thinks differently to you on whether or not women should be allowed to preach is as much ‘in error’ as someone who thinks that God is a cola-flavoured ice lolly.

(Sigh) I’m not against theological wrestling, by no means, but I remember one of my lecturers once saying that the goal of theology is not to provide answers but to categorise mysteries and I think there’s a lot of mileage in that. Certainly, it helps us deep thinkers with the old humility problem. No, what I’m against is drawing lines in the sand in places other than where God might have drawn them.

As I’ve pondered these mysteries, I have adapted my views and changed my positions over the years, and I have no doubt I will continue to refine my worldview as I continue to better understand the rhythmn of God’s heart. But here’s the thing: God has been with me and guided me and helped me and blessed me and used me all the way along my journey – regardless of my views on predestination or tongues or baptism. God has remained faithful while I’ve stumbled along, sometimes holding views that were quite damaging to myself and potentially others. So God must draw His line in the sand somewhere other than along the denominational or theological boundaries that have provided the framework of my faith for so long. Otherwise, at some point in my journey I would have been persona non grata to Him for some belief I held.

I think God does draw lines, and I think there is a point where God says, “You and I can no longer do business together”, but I think this has much more to do with Jesus than it does to do with all those other details that take up so much space on the page – after all, you know who you find in the details…

James’s Blog: The Love and Pain of Starting a New School.

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James’s Blog: The Love and Pain of Starting a New School.

So this week Parker started secondary school. I’ve been anxious about this moment for a while, not because I’m having trouble adapting to my children getting older but because – as long time readers of this blog will know – Parker is autistic. Covid-19 has thrown the normal school transition process out of the window, and if any of our children needed the chance to get acquainted with a new school, it was Parker. On the plus side, Covid restrictions mean that he’ll probably spend all his time with the same people in the same classroom. That’s a plus.

As it happens, day one went well. That helps a lot, and day two is a lot easier with that success behind us, but there’s still a way to go before both dad and child feel confident and comfortable with this new era.

Obviously, he’s the one facing the big changes and the new situation, but I’m anxious about his anxiety. I’m the the parent in charge of the school run, so the responsibility for managing his meltdowns falls on me. I’m not good at it. Ruth is so much better at this kind of thing. She’s much better at parenting generally – and coping with stress.

Part of the problem is my that own autistic tendencies don’t help. My experiences allow me to empathise with Parker and his struggles, as the things that cause him stress are the same kind of things that cause me stress, but in reality it just means that I can see the trouble coming. It doesn’t mean I can do anything about it, or even help Parker navigate it.

I can look back on my own childhood with the wisdom of age, and I can see how I worried about things needlessly, and how I could have much better managed the things that I did need to worry about. But have you ever tried to use your wisdom to override a child’s experience in the moment? It doesn’t often work, so I mostly just get to experience his stress without having the having the power to influence it. His stress becomes my stress, and then we’re both just stressed.

It’s the universe’s cruelest joke, to make you care for another but unable to live their life for them – to have to suffer vicariously. Love unlocks new ways of pain. It’s one thing to suffer yourself, to suffer as a result of your own choices. It’s another thing to see someone you care about suffer, to share their pain, and to know that they don’t have to suffer. If they were just able to see the world the way you see it for a moment…but instead you’re both left with the suffering.

But that’s how it’s supposed to work, loving your children and carrying their burdens even though it doesn’t really benefit you at all. That’s the example that we’ve been set. It blows my mind that God had a choice, and that this is what He chose for Himself.

James’s Blog: Fair Weather Friend.

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James’s Blog: Fair Weather Friend.

We’ve had some really nice weather over the past few days but, as they say, every silver lining has a cloud. In this case the warm weather has played havoc with our Wi-Fi signal as it climbs the stairs to my office. It’s not an uncommon issue for me – in the past few houses we’ve lived in, the room where I do my work has often seemed to form the nexus of a cyberspace Bermuda Triangle. I have noticed that it’s particularly bad when the weather is good, with the signal dropping out frequently. Simple tasks like sending e-mails or logging on to WordPress become lengthy trials, turning my internet usage into some kind of hostage negotiation.

Of course, this plays out like a metaphor for my relationship with God. I’ve also noticed that when I’m enjoying my own warm weather that I can be a slow to invite God into my days. I know full well how much I need to be attentive to God in every moment of my life but when the sun is shining and life is good along comes the temptation is to drop out and cruise. Sometimes it takes the sun vanishing behind a cloud to remind me that I haven’t been connecting with the one who made the sun and the rain. I hate the idea that God serves no purpose in my life other than to be a comfort blanket, and I know that – on balance – that’s definitely not the kind of relationship we have…but every now and then I am reminded how easily I fall into the trap of calling out to God when it rains, and ignoring Him when the sun shines.

Alright, it’s not a great analogy. In fact, it’s rather weak – but then so is my Wi-Fi signal. Speaking of which, it seems to be working at the moment, so I’d better save this while I can…

James’s Blog: The Face of the Pilot.

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James’s Blog: The Face of the Pilot.
Shortly after Ruth and I were married we received a letter. It was a letter that promised us huge amounts of money provided that we respond immediately. There was, however, a catch. There’s always a catch. In order to qualify for the cash, we had to take out an insurance policy with the organisation who had sent out the letter. The bulk of the letter outlined the benefits of taking out the policy that we were being offered, but as I read the letter I felt a little…well, threatened. For example, I read: Imagine what would happen to a relative or friend, who suffered an injury and could never lead a normal life again. Everyone is at risk, no matter how careful. Accidents do happen! Although still very much alive, they may not be able to see, or may lose the use of a limb…and that can lead to serious money worries. The letter also included testimonies from people who had, it seemed, suffered terrible life-changing injuries within hours of taking out the insurance policy: “I’m so lucky…In October I took out insurance. In December I had an accident which has left me paralysed and facing a bleak future…” You and I have very different ideas of what constitutes being ‘lucky’, friend. Anyway, I was undecided. If I didn’t take out the insurance then perhaps they’d send someone round to follow up on the promise that ‘Accidents do happen!‘, but if I did take out the policy then I was pretty much guaranteed to suffer some horrible injury in the next few months anyway. What was I to do? I did nothing. I’m a risk-taker by nature. I doubt there was anything genuine about the offer that we received in that letter, but it was clear that they had a very deliberate marketing tactic. Fear. Fear. There’s a lot of it going around at the moment, and it can be hard to keep it at bay, even when you’re not receiving letters designed to terrify you into parting with your money. And why shouldn’t we be afraid, not just of the things that are happening, but also of the things that might happen? After all, accidents do happen and many of us know all too well that a bleak future is always a possibility. Paul writes that we are ‘…hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed’.  J.B. Phillips translates the last part of this verse as ‘[we are]…knocked down, but never knocked out’. If we are knocked down, but never knocked out, what should we fear? What can fear do to one who is not destroyed, never abandoned? And what might I see if I gathered up my fears and took them directly to God? Robert Louis Stevenson tells the story of a ship experiencing a storm at sea. The passengers were terrified as the ship rocked to the right and the left, and as the waves crashed against the deck. Eventually one of the passengers, against orders, left the hold and crept up the deck to see what was going on. Amidst the torrential rain and wind the passenger saw the pilot, lashed to the wheel, steering calmly as though it were a pleasure cruise. The pilot turned and saw the passenger, and simply gave him a reassuring smile.  The passenger went back below and comforted the others, saying, “I have seen the face of the pilot, and all is well.” Fear. There is a lot of it going around at the moment, but I have seen the face of the pilot, and all is well.

James’s Blog: The Noisy God.

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James’s Blog: The Noisy God.

For many people, God is a silent God. As far as they’re concerned, He says nothing. But when I read the Bible I can’t help but be left with the strong impression that actually this is a God who just won’t shut up. Take Abram for example. He’s sitting in the desert, counting his livestock and minding his own business, and then God comes along – “Psssst…Abram.” Read more

James’s Blog: The Psalms – Greatest Hits.

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James’s Blog: The Psalms – Greatest Hits.

The thing about reading the Psalms is that occasionally, at just the right time, there will be a sliver of poetry that speaks directly to your heart. Here are some crumbs from the table that have fed my soul in the past, and continue to do so, along with commentary on what they mean to me.

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James’s Blog: Tax Return.

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James’s Blog: Tax Return.

Another post from the archives here (April 2011). This one resonated with me more than I expected, and not just because the tax year ended last month. Possibly it’s because the Coronavirus situation and recent health issues for Ruth have thrown up that recurring question for me again – how can one learn to be content in each and every situation?

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