Although I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, it’s turned out that I have started 2020 with a few new disciplines. I thought I’d tell you about one of them.
When the initial chaos of the morning has passed, and I have returned home from dropping the children off at school, I go to my bedroom and do nothing but sit in silence for ten minutes. That’s it. Ten minutes of nothing, trying – if I can – to not even let my head fill with thoughts.
No, this is not an act of despair, and neither am I just collecting my composure after a manic school-run. This is a deliberate, provocative act of submission. There are three things happening here:
1) As I’ve alluded to before, I am a task-orientated person. Once I’ve finished the school-run, my mind begins dissecting the day, splitting it between the tasks that I have on my to-do list. Before I’m home, I’m already feeling the pressure to start being productive. But for ten minutes, before I’ve even begun anything else, I force myself to sit and be unproductive. I quiet the voice that demands busyness, because I want my whole life – not just this day – to be guided by another voice.
2) It’s a mini-Sabbath; a reminder that it doesn’t matter whether I am being productive or if I am just sitting around, literally doing nothing. In either state, I am equally loved and cherished by God. My effort changes nothing.
3) For many years, the story of Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus while Martha hovered around in the hectic background has been personally significant (Luke 10:38-42). These ten minutes are another of my small acts of rebellion; just ten minutes sitting at the feet of Jesus, creating a space that I hope God will fill, while the world whirs by around me.
So that’s what I do. Sometimes I might find myself praying, but it doesn’t matter if I don’t. Prayer is not the point of this discipline. Prayer is action, and in this case, action is not where the fruit is.
So if you ever find yourself overwhelmed by a sense of urgency, or slipping into a world where God loves you more if you work harder, or just can’t find the time or words for God, then I commend this discipline to you. You might find that ten minutes doing nothing will produce far more fruit than ten minutes of anything else…
This sounds like something that could be very helpful to me. I love that reminder that there is no action I can take to make God love me more.