fear

James’s Blog: Empty Hands.

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James’s Blog: Empty Hands.

Sometimes I challenge myself but more often I leave it to others to challenge me. Recently, I came across an observation made by someone else: the suggestion to pray for ‘our daily bread’ in the Lord’s Prayer is supposed to encourage us towards a daily trust in God to meet our needs. It challenged me because I know that even when I’m asking for my ‘daily bread’ I’m already thinking about what I’m going to eat tomorrow.  I’m not in the habit of asking God to meet my daily needs, I’m in the habit of asking Him for a surplus so that I don’t have to worry about empty cupboards for the next few years. I wonder what would happen if all I ever asked for was just what I needed for that day? I know one thing it would change – It’d certainly be an incentive to check in with my heavenly Father at least once every twenty-four hours…

It made me think about ‘stuff’, why I worry about it and why I cling so hard to it. Sometimes I think I justify acquiring stuff by telling myself that it’s another resource I can use for God’s purposes. I’m not sure I’m being entirely honest with myself, and I wonder if – in my case – empty hands are more useful to Him.

I had a little thought last weekend. What if we get to heaven and God asks us to show Him our hands? What if everyone’s hands look the same – damaged and battered and bruised and scarred? But what if our hands aren’t the same? What if God knows that some of us have wounded hands because we’ve worked hard for Him, but others of us have wounded hands because we’ve been holding on to our treasure too tightly?

James’s Blog: Five Random Thoughts on the Subject of Trusting God.

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James’s Blog: Five Random Thoughts on the Subject of Trusting God.

1) Trusting God to be faithful is like trusting the sun to be hot. It seems like a sure thing in theory, and we’re very happy to say that we believe it to be true, but we’re also really hoping that we can get through life without having to prove it.

2) I suffer from Truster’s Remorse. It’s that feeling you get when you actively take steps to trust God, but then you worry that the warm glow on the horizon is not the welcoming hearth-fire of heaven, but rather just your bridges burning.

3) Sometimes I wish that I could pin God down before trust is required. It would be nice, for example, to have His signature at the bottom of an iron-clad contract before taking steps. However, I know for a fact that He prefers clay to paper. Plus I hear rumours that it’s possible for even lawyers to be saved.

4) When I reflect on those times that I’ve trusted God with something big – I mean really trusted and not just paid lip-service to the concept of trust – I’m forced to admit that He’s never let me down. Well, except for that one time in 2015 when I really wanted Him to do something specific and He did something else instead. He never seems to like my ideas.

5) C.S. Lewis was on to something when he wrote, “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” I’m not really afraid of trusting God, rather I’m afraid that trusting God will mean having to follow Him down some dark paths. So it becomes a question not of trusting God to keep His promises, but rather trusting Him to not break me along the way. If God can be trusted in this way, then I have nothing to worry about. If I can’t trust Him with my life , then it’s time to find a new God, don’t you think?

James’s Blog: The Politics of Fear.

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James’s Blog: The Politics of Fear.

I’ve been thinking a little bit about fear recently. I don’t really want to write about Britain’s decision to leave the EU, but I feel like I should at least say something. It’s too big to ignore; too massive to just carry on and pretend it hasn’t happened. I’d rather write something else, some spiritual reflection or humourous observation, (like the fact that my spell-checker lets me write ‘humour’ but wants me to write ‘humorous’). But, as I said, I’ve been thinking about fear recently.

The referendum debate revolved around fear. Fear of economic uncertainty, fear of immigration, fear of eroded sovereignty, fear of the future. Fear seems to be the only tool that our politicians have, and if that’s the case – regardless of the referendum result – we’re in trouble.

There’s no doubt. Fear is a powerful motivator. You can make people do outrageous things, things totally against their character, if you can just make them afraid enough. Yet when I read through the gospels, I can’t help but notice that Jesus never seemed to act out of fear. I never get the impression that fear was a factor in his motivation. He did some pretty crazy stuff and upset some powerful people, but he never seemed to be afraid, and if he was then he never let it control his choices.

There was a time when fear came out to play, and that was in the garden of Gethsemane, where he pleads for a different route. He doesn’t want to die, especially not like this, and he asks God to spare him. And yet…”Not my will, Father, but yours”. Even in his darkest hour, his greatest fear is not death or suffering, but rather the fear of not being obedient.

Imagine living a life where that’s really the only thing that you are truly afraid of.

I find it hard to feel optimistic about the immediate future right now. There’s all kinds of ugliness and uncertainty surfacing in the Island of the Mighty, but I have decided to not be afraid. Whatever the future brings and whatever actions I take, I will try to not let fear be the thing that drives me. Not my will, Father, but yours.

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